6 weeks after surgery now, but still over 2 weeks until I get the histology. I must say I feel great! All my fears about falling over during this icy weather came to a head this week when yes, I was out on a photographic trip with my mate Paul, I stood on a frozen puddle, freshly covered by snow and gravity took over. It felt great to have fallen into a crumpled heap and be able to just get up and laugh it off, being in no pain whatsoever and my bladder holding steady...what a result!

Thanks for the lovely food and company in your new home on Tuesday night Paul & Nikki, always great to see you and so good to have you as friends.

My Mother is not at all well just now and I would like to wish her well, and also thank my brother Paul and sister Jacqueline for looking after her. Not easy times, I know!

Had our Ecology exam at Uni on Thursday, wow it was harder than I expected. The pass mark is 40%, which when I was at school would have got you the cane, but that's progress! I might have scraped it, and having missed 5 weeks of lectures, I'd be delighted with 40%.

When I was at school, Ecology was never, ever mentioned and yet it is, without doubt, the most important subject that needs to be taught. As a guide to life and an explanation of how everything was created, we were given the Bible. At 5 years old you believe everything you are told by adults and especially your parents. My Mother was very religious and until I was at least 12, she had me believing that God was everywhere and that I could do nothing without him seeing me. I didn't know who I feared most, my Dad or God, but at least I could see my Dad and hear him coming, but God was even in the plumbing system, so I had no chance with him! I could never work out how God was connected with Father Christmas and the tooth fairy; did they all live in the same place? I would pray for all sorts of things but nothing happened. I would pray for some very dangerous and outrageous things, like the Queen to be killed by terrorists, but no luck ever! I used to hide under my bed covers and whisper to God, "bet you can't see me now". I never got an answer. I flushed one of my Mum's crucifixes down the toilet, then waited to be struck by lightening; but still nothing! When my younger brother set fire to the local Catholic Church, after stealing all the alter vessels, I though, 'now we are for it'! But nothing happened, no matter how bad we got! I soon came to realise that God had no power over me at all, but thankfully, my Mother was still a true 'God fearing Catholic'. I used that to huge advantage over my brothers. I could do something wrong, then blame one of them. When confronted, I would walk in with my hand on the bible and swear it was not me, and she was compelled to believe me every time, even if I had the 'blood' all over me! The Bible certainly gave me power beyond my wildest expectations. So I spent most of my childhood, oblivious to Ecology, the truth of how things were created and how we all come from the Earth and are returned to it. Ecology is simple and believable. Now you can't say that for the bible, can you? I trusted the church and believed in everything I was told, but the consequences were terrible because most of the information given to me just turned me into a very gullible person. I believed that 'honesty is the best policy', only to realise as an adult that we are ruled by people who are more dishonest than those in prison! I believed in justice, only to find that it rarely exists, except in it's natural form. Now I have read books on Ecology, I understand life and I'm not afraid of death. I won't have to be interrogated on a cloud by someone in an angel suit, before they decide if I have enough points to make heaven or if I will burn in eternal hell fire. I will just return to my basic chemicals and one day, be reborn as bits of all sorts of other things, constantly in harmony with the Universe. Now that feels better!

Happy Birthday to my daughter Chantal this week. Love you No. 1 xxxxxx 


On Tuesday, I went to the AGM of the Northwest Cumbria Prostate Cancer Support Group. Met some lovely people and stayed for a few drinks after. Tim is the Chairman and John the Secretary, fantastic people. One of the members, Dave, showed us some amazing photos of him racing his 750 against Barry Sheen! They elected me 'Treasurer' would you believe, so I am now on the Committee. Can't wait to get stuck in, there's so much to do because tens of thousands of men over 50 are walking around in this country, oblivious to something growing inside them, with no symptoms, that will eventually be discovered too late. THINK HARD! Who do you love who is 50+ and male. ASK THEM THIS WEEK IF THEY HAVE HAD A BLOOD TEST TO CHECK THEIR PSA LEVEL.



Some great photos for you below........................

 Me, just before I walked into nearly 7 hours of surgery. They are called surgical stockings. Not only do they stop blood clots forming, they make you feel sexy too!!!

 After surgery, still drugged up and well out of it!!

Can't even remember these being taken but glad to have it all out of the way. I could show you the one of the 6 surgical wounds, but it's a bit graphic!