Monday, 27 January 2014

10 things I DON'T miss about England...

This is easier…


2.   TV…Although there are a few exceptions, in the main it's just utter shite in England! It's as bad here though :-)

3.   Teenagers…gobbing on the path in front of me, it just doesn't happen here, maybe they're more dehydrated!

4.   The crap service... wherever you go, shops, pubs, unless they're Italian! Not the staff's fault, they're demoralised because there are always too few of them.

5.   The severe weather warnings…Don't leave home unless you have to, an amber alert means you may get wet from water falling from the sky!

6.   Supermarkets…You are being robbed in England. Service, price, quality, even Waitrose is crap compared to over here!

7.   Petrol prices…No not just petrol, EVERYTHING is less than half price here. Wine is a third of the price, as are liver transplants.

8.   Corruption…It's hidden in England, here it's up front and you can benefit from it.  

9.   The crap on the BBC news, it's trivial trash made for a brain dead audience.

10. Health and Safety...The signage…This hot water may be hot, this bag of nuts may contain nuts, do not pour liquids into this television set, when motor is running the blade is turning, do not use hair dryer in shower, do not spray this deodorant in eyes, do not dry pets in this microwave, do not hold chainsaw by the chain…Oh it's endless. There's no health and safety here, YOU are responsible for yourself. Imagine that!

My favourite? Has to be number 10. We've lost the plot on this in England and even the Germans are laughing at us.

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