Do you plan your life, or do you just let it happen to you? I've thought about this many times, and as much as I would like to think that I planned certain things, I know it has all just, 'happened to me'. I was playing on a pinball machine once, when a great analogy occurred to me. As I pulled the spring loaded lever back, then released it, the silver ball shot up the shoot and entered the game. I was being born! Death lay at the very bottom, between those flippers, and one thing was certain, we would all go that way eventually. Some of us would stay in the game much longer than others, and our experiences would be very different. We would fall into 'bonus' holes and gain extra points with flashing lights and bells ringing and as we bounce off the bumpers and fly around the table. Apart from an occasional flick from a flipper, we are at the mercy of 'luck'. There is a certain amount of skill involved, because some people are consistently better than others at pinball, but the end result is always the same. However, the analogy only holds up for a one ball game, because that's all we get in real life.

This afternoon we are going out to 'identify trees'. I will have no problem with, Oak, Birch, Beech, Sycamore, Elm, Holy but then the list fades. As for identifying the tree without leaves, that could be a problem. How can we live for so long and not be able to identify something as beautiful as a tree, yet we know McDonald's from a mile down the road? I'm looking forward to it; a breath of fresh air and it's throwing it down outside.

Bonti is going back today, that's sad, it was great having her here for a few days, but I think she's coming for Christmas, so maybe we'll find Small Tarn then.

Morton Manor is the venue for the meeting tonight, if anyone wants to go to the support group meeting at 7 p.m. There's some good speakers and I am looking forward to meeting lots of other people in a similar situation to myself. I am taking notes because I may be discussing this on the radio shortly after. People who give up their time for this sort of thing are giving so much to the community.